anxiety can be an art

This week has been a mix of emotion - from the darkness of being financially unstable and feeling lonely, to the elation of today when I received a wonderful compliment. Last week I took my first step towards running my own self-help group by participating in a seminar on facilitating a group. I had been wrangled in to co-facilitating an anxiety group for 12 weeks and while I have mountains of knowledge on anxiety, I know very little about how to impart that knowledge to a large group of people. I wasn't entirely impressed with the seminar, but it gave me an insight on how to diffuse the conflicts that can arise. Today was our first group meeting and I think it went well. We have a couple of people who need to be gently reminded that the group is only three hours and that other people need time to speak, but that is easily handled. I was afraid when I went in that I wouldn't know what to say, or that I would take a backseat to the other facilitator who has her masters in social work. Luckily though she is aware of my anxieties and just threw the floor to me at points so I began to feel more comfortable. It was an interesting afternoon. And then on the way home she said I did a great job, and was impressed with the amount of knowledge I have on the subject, without ever having been to school for it. (It helps when you actually have the disorder to understand the information relating to it!) She also said I have great perception. So I am quite pleased with myself now.

Yesterday I was offered a part time position in the mall, but it's only 7-10 hours a week. I accepted it (reluctantly) and my first shift is only a measly three hours on Thursday night. I am waffling back and forth between calling and saying it's not worth my time, but thanks for the opportunity, and actually going. It's horrible money, $9/h and horrible hours and a horrible job that I said I'd never go back to. But I need to do something. I haven't been able to find anything full time so it looks like I'll have to suck it up and do a few crappy part time jobs. I'm not happy about it, though.

Anyway. The last few weeks I have been amassing supplies to start making Christmas ornaments and small gifts. I learned from last year that I need to start early! A few I might sell in the shop, but I think most will end up going to family as I won't have tons of money for gifts. I've been burning my fingers with the glue gun the past few evenings, and constantly picking glitter off surfaces around the apartment. I've managed to make a few mini stockings and wreaths, and my next challenge will be to make some larger stockings. I'm also ridiculously excited to try these, they look absolutely adorable. Hopefully something sells in the shop soon so I'm actually able to buy the kit!