It's almost snowing

I didn't get the job I was so hoping for. The manager called me this morning and said that although my interview was "just fabulous", they need someone with decorating experience already. Because of Christmas coming they don't have time to train, they want someone who already knows the suppliers and whatnot. So I'm disappointed. I was so sure that I would get it. I'm not sure what to do now. No one in this stupid town seems to be hiring, not even for Christmas. I've only put out one resume in two weeks. My unemployment is up at the start of February, so I have a few months left but I'm really starting to panic.

Anyway. We had my parents for supper on Saturday night which was nice. I ended up making chili instead of salmon. I like just throwing stuff in the crockpot and then getting on with the rest of my day. On Sunday I decided that one table needed to be moved in the living room and ended up tearing the whole apartment apart. I still haven't quite put things together. I don't like the way this place is laid out, long and not quite narrow but not really wide. The fireplace is on an angle in the corner directly across from the front door, which makes it really hard to place furniture. I've tried every configuration I can think of in the year that I've lived here but nothing is working for me. I wish I had the money to have a stager come in and set it up for me.

It's very cold and rainy outside, the kind of rain that looks like it could turn to snow at any moment. A perfect day to do some baking (banana muffins, maybe some chocolate chip muffins) and then cozy up in front of the fire with my knitting and a movie.

Emotional unbalance

It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that I need to stop putting so much value on other's opinions. I was in sucha great mood when I got back from my interview yesterday, but that was blown to smithereens by my father's opinion of my situtation. He called me to see how it went and as soon as I told him it was only part time, he turned negative and reminded me how I can't live on $9/h, how I need something full time, how things were only going to get harder for me and I should be calling my uncle to see if he could get me a factory job. Then he went on a big tangent about how I ought to be going to school to get a license in hair styling because, "even in a recession people still need to get thier hair cut."

Well. My good mood vanished and suddenly I was taking on his opinions as my own. Just assuming he was right. Finn came home and asked me how it went and I found myself saying I hoped they wouldn't call me because it would just be a waste of time. Argh! Two hours earlier I was on cloud nine! And I do want this job. I know I do this all the time with my Dad. I think it's part of our kid-parent relationship where I just assume that he knows whats best. But I am twenty-five years old now. I don't live with my parents, I am not depending on them financially. Dad's opinion is just that - an opinion. I know I do it with other people too, and it's something I need to start really working on. My thoughts and feelings have value, regardless of what others think of them.

I think it's an authority figure thing. I am a people pleaser, especially when it comes to authority figures. I need to stop it.

The search continues...

Well. Woe is me. I had a job all lined up as a sales assistant in the store of a friend of my Dad's. He sells bath and kitchen plumbing fixtures. Not exactly the creative job I long for, but helping people pick out the perfect taps to go with their newly done bathroom might be somewhat creative. Except now he thinks he might not need me. The kid he has working now isn't working out, so that's how I got the job. Only now he has decided to keep the kid. Urgh! It's quite depressing, not having a job to go to. In the summer it was actually alright, despite my moaning, because I was free to take off camping for a weekend and I could play domestic goddess. Finn came home to cooked meals just about every night (as opposed to the bit of cold toast I would offer when I was working retail) But now that Christmas is looming (and bills are going unpaid) I need a job and quick. This town doesn't offer much in the way of jobs, though, unless you are trained in driving a forklift. Which I am not.

However. The search continues. And not having a job allowed me to flit off to Niagara On The Lake on Friday with my Mom and Aunt, where we met up with my Aunt Linda nad cousin Kim, plus her previously mentioned baby. It's been ages since I've been there, and it was a nice cool day to walk around with a baby on my hip.


Kim & Nathan


Niagara On The Lake's theatre


My Mom, Aunt Pat and Aunt Linda

Those are the only pictures that turned out semi-alright. I used my Mom's to take more, so I'll have to load them on to a disc next time I'm home.